By Shekita Steele
🩺 Passion Lost…
There was a time I loved walking onto the nursing unit. I’d grab my coffee, throw on my scrubs, and feel proud knowing I was part of something meaningful. My drive was led by my passion to make an impact in my patient’s lives. Somewhere along the way, that excitement turned into anxiety. I’d sit in my car before my shift, heart racing, trying to convince myself to walk through those automatic doors.
The tension at work became palpable. Managers were totally disconnected from the work we put in. There was drama among nurses. The seasoned nurses treated the newer nurses poorly and refused to assist them when needed. We were constantly being told to do more with less. Complaints to management and upper management went unanswered. I found myself going through the motions and completely disconnected from my work and patients. I knew there had to be a better way to be the nurse I wanted to be.
If you’ve ever felt that heavy, anxious feeling before work, you’re not alone. Many of us have stood in those same shoes, wondering how a profession built on compassion could sometimes feel so cold.
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When the Calling Turns Heavy
For me, nursing is more than a job; it’s a calling. But when that calling is surrounded by toxicity, it becomes a burden that’s hard to carry. I’ve seen it all and I’m sure you have; short staffing, endless charting, supervisors who look the other way, coworkers who bully or gossip.
You start to question yourself. Maybe it’s me. Maybe I just need to toughen up.
But it’s not you. A toxic work environment can make even the most passionate, competent nurse feel like they’re drowning.
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The Emotional Weight We Carry
The thing about toxic workplaces is they don’t just exhaust you physically they drain your spirit.
You come home too tired to eat, too anxious to sleep, and too numb to enjoy the people who love you. You start replaying the day in your head, wondering what you could’ve done differently.
I remember the first time I realized I wasn’t okay. I had finished a 14-hour shift, missed lunch and dinner, and sat in my car crying before driving home. That’s when I began considering a new career path. I began to wonder if nursing was for me.
Ultimately, I decided that I wouldn’t want to do anything else but I couldn’t tolerate a toxic work environment.
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How I Started Protecting My Peace
Healing didn’t happen overnight. But little by little, I learned that protecting my peace was more important than any job.
1.
I Set Boundaries
I stopped saying “yes” to every extra shift out of guilt. I started using my PTO without apology. I learned that rest is not a reward, it’s a requirement.
2.
I Found My People
I connected with other nurses who understood. We vented, supported, and reminded each other that we weren’t alone. Finding your tribe in nursing, the ones who lift you up instead of tearing you down changes everything.
3.
I Spoke Up and Documented
When I saw unsafe conditions or bullying, I documented everything. I stopped staying silent out of fear. Protecting your peace sometimes means protecting your paper trail too.
4.
I Got Help
Therapy gave me space to breathe again. It helped me separate who I am from what I do. There’s no shame in needing support. In fact, it’s one of the most courageous things you can do.
5.
I Made a Plan to Leave
And eventually, I left. It wasn’t easy, leaving never is. But peace is priceless. And walking away from toxicity doesn’t mean you’ve failed; it means you’ve chosen yourself.
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To Every Nurse Reading This
If your workplace is draining your joy, please know this: you are not weak for feeling overwhelmed. You are not dramatic for wanting peace. You are human, and even healers need healing.
We entered nursing to care for others, but somewhere along the line, we have to start caring for ourselves too. Because when nurses protect their peace, they can give care from a place of strength, not survival.
Your peace matters. Your voice matters.
And no toxic workplace should ever make you forget that.
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